The Freshman Emails (Writing During Transition)

My freshman year at Belmont University I wrote an email newsletter, “Nate’s Belmont Experience,” to my family and close friends.

It was a way to connect to traditional patterns of comfort and justify I was okay in a new place.

Photo: Luke and I were Krispy Kreme men for Halloween freshman year. More freshmen year photos

I was so young then…. Now I have a beard and sip bourbon. Here’s what went down:

August 2004

• We’re trying to figure out if our quesadilla maker is illegal. We really want to have underground quesadilla parties.
• I was reading about writing and it was inspiring. i could see the image of a professional writer nathan as a real and desirable possibility.
• The dark walls of high school have been shattered to the ground.
• I have been made aware that I hug from the side too much and I am seeking training on good hugging.
• I am engaging in such activities as wrestling in the grass, swing dancing in the lobby late at night, playing volleyball in the lobby late at night, talking to people in the lobby late at night, etc.
• Oh people people people. I have always wanted to be around people a lot and now there is almost never a time when I don’t have to be.

September 2004

• I’m not sure I like Journalism. I seems like being a journalist means you have to distance [yourself] too much. I think emotion is good. I dunno. Just thinking out loud.
• I have gotten two checks from personal web design clients that have financed [the] nathan wants to go to Waffle House fund.
• Luke is the friend I spend the most time with at Belmont. We go to Awesome Abs frequently.

October 2004

• For me the two most sacred places to eat are Las Palmas and Waffle House.

December 2004

• On the way to class one time, I brought my electric shaver and shaved on the way to class. It was liberating. (It’s pretty wild over here at Belmont…
• It is rumored that Belmont will drop it’s funding from the Baptist Association (only 5% of their funding) If anything changes, it of course will be gradual. The hardcore Christians are leaving because they thought it would be more Christian and the humanists are leaving because they thought it would be more secular. It’s all kind of relative. I didn’t go to a Christian high school, and it seems a lot more “Christian” than my high school. I enjoy the current dynamic.
• I set a personal record and had 8 loads of laundry going at once.
• After the first week of the relationship, the worries and stresses kicked in. For instance, “Oh my goodness, what have I done? What is this stranger doing in my wallet? I barely know this person. Do they have a heart for God? Why are they reacting to this in this way, etc.”
• I also didn’t like his *OH MY GOSH* music habits. Ok sorry…here comes the rant: He plays one band over and over and very loud, and the lyrics are trite and the philosophy behind the lyrics are far far from enlightenment, and the voices are pretty terrible, but all he hears is the drums and guitar while I hear a gorilla pounding evil spitfire on a witchcraft-like, nauseating trash can over my head. The band is “311”

March 2005

• My current roommate is a German guitar player
• Spanish: your average spanish class. I don’t think they ever change.
• I’ve been riding the motorcycle […] When I enter or exit my residence hall, people always ask if i’m going to the moon.
• Luke: We will be roommates next year. [… He] likes to [go] to bed at 11:30 every night. food is his weakness. will often call me natie-nate or shorten words that should not be shortened like making kroger “krog.” We beat each other up and call each other names often.
• On valentines day, I presented her with a website proclaiming my love

April 2005

• This summer I am picking blueberries in GA […] on my Aunt and Uncle’s farm for a couple weeks
• [intermission]

Here are two videos I made from the summer of 2005:

Cedar Point with friends:

Visiting Lee, while in Georgia:

Recounting this makes me realize how heavily I’ve relied on writing during transitional times. When I moved to Nashville at ten I kept a journal that cataloged my thoughts. I wrote how I missed the dog we left. I marvelled at the plethora of malls we have in Nashville compared to the small town I left.

When a relationship took a dark turn, I wrote a draft of a poem. When I didn’t know how to pray, I started by writing. Thank God for words. They’ve helped me contextualize  thoughts, which otherwise would still be seeping in my brain wrinkles somewhere.

That was fun. Whelp, back to being 23.

What ways do you cope with transition?